2012 - End of Days?

Seems believable, I mean Facebook is going public, the race for the Republican nomination is between a bullfrog and a gazillionaire, the world has been in a recession for like 1,000 weeks, and Community was put on hiatus. The question we have to ask ourselves isn't "is 2012 the end of days?" it's "do I want to be around for another fucking year?" The arguments on either side are compelling.

On the side of struggling on for a future of the human race there are things to look forward to - things like the continuing career of Emma Stone who is my completely non-secret, flagrantly public celebrity crush for her quiet beauty, witty humor (at least in her roles and the few interviews I've seen), and apparent decency as a human being (probably unlikely to see her follow her red-headed predecessor Lindsay). Also, even if the USA induces self-inflicted Armageddon by electing someone other than our current president, it will allow President Obama to go back to doing what he does best, writing books. Is there anyone that wouldn't want to read his thoughts on being president and trying to govern amid the insanity of the last couple years sans the restraint necessary when holding public office? And of course there's the ever-present hope of flying cars, shuttle buses to the moon, and a Guns N Roses reunion that perpetually appear just off in an ever elusive horizon.

Of course, the evidence against living on past 2012 is just as compelling. First and foremost I'm in the midst of my longest dry spell since my first longest dry spell (the first 17 years of my life). Frankly, if this continues I have no interest in living on. Secondly, people don't have jobs and when they don't have jobs they ask me for money or favors, constantly. I mean I'm sorry that you're jobless and have mouths to feed but I have important plans for my money and if you don't believe me ask the liquor store around the corner. Lastly Steve Jobs is still continuing on in his path towards world domination even from the grave. I see it only as a matter of time until we're walking around in smooth, shiny black and white cases as iPeople and while people reading this on one of their motley of apple gadgets may get half-aroused at the thought of seamlessly integrating their brains with their devices and fully aroused at the thought of fornicating with an iPerson I on the other hand want no part in this digitally consumed future.

So there you have it: I'm single and completely sexually inactive (Emma, if you're reading, trust me these are compelling reasons to date me), soon people standing next to me will be part owners of my profile page on Facebook, and I'll likely be looking at that profile page on an iPhone after I finally sell out amongst the weight of the giant wave of civilization pulling me onward into a future devoid of substance and hope.

Cheers kids - you're all fucked anyway.