Thursday, November 02, 2006

What Women Want

“A guy should know what I want and if he doesn’t I know he’s not the guy for me and I’m not interested.” This was the genuine statement of a girl when talking about her love interests. I feel this goes along with my earlier post regarding the double X chromosome and just lends proof to my belief that women refuse to think logically or reasonably. For all of you women out there holding onto this idea let me help you out with why your relationships probably haven’t worked…men don’t read minds and for the most part probably don’t get you. First of all you’re women and as Jack Nicholson famously put it in As Good As It Gets, you live without reason and accountability. Men on the other hand live their lives based on this and sorry to say are incapable of lowering themselves to your level. Life isn’t a fairy tale, or a movie and yea we might get it right every now and then by pure chance but we can’t read your mind, so acting in direct opposition to what you actually want thinking that men are going to magically know that you want the opposite because if he’s the right guy for you he’ll know is a preposterous idea. Relationships work based on communication and expressing one’s feelings, not by playing mind games and hocus pocus. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying all women do this, that would be a generalization and sexist and that would get way too many people hating me. I like to avoid hatred as much as possible so lets just go ahead and say I think women are really swell but that some of them lack an ability to recognize reality because they’ve seen too many damn Disney and teen date movies. So now that I’ve taken some of the blame directly off of the women I’m gonna go right for the source. Date movies. These ridiculous fairy tales have been killing guys game for years, besides the times that you have to sit through one with a girl to get any action they just serve to push unrealistic expectations on us from girls. All these feminists get so upset about havin to match expectations that models present and the perfect body, well im fuckin pissed about havin to match expectations from some stupid Freddie Prinz Jr. sappy teen love story. I’m fed up and pissed off and now women are sayin things like the quote from above, well its time we do something about it and I’m gonna start as soon as I finish ordering flowers and taking a girl on a romantic date that includes a horse pulled carriage ride through central park…so I caved, but if I have to give in to get some I’ll do what I gotta do. But this is the last time, and I’m tryin to spread this message to any man or woman that cares to listen.

ps. I will be having a charity event to create awareness for this problem. So when you have to decide between giving money to a charity for world hunger or Darfur remember which one have you been affected by. When you go to the polls vote intermittent comedy and well get you laid (if youre a guy)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What Women Want is the name of a Mel Gibson movie. Mel Gibson is a drunk and has made strongly anti-semitic remarks recently. I call on you to change the title of this post and renounce both alcohol and anti-semitism.

couturiette said...

listen kiddo, you make no sense to us girls either.

bitingsarcasm said...

The fact that women don't understand men is baffling to me. Men are mercifully uncomplicated. They want only to be satiated--be that by food, sex, alcohol, or laughter (a small subset). Women want maddeningly precise levels of moderation--not too much food, not nearly enough sex, pathetically small amounts of booze, and laughter only to the point of not appearing weird. Just flood the sensory perceptions of men with bread, breasts, and booze and we're a picture of bliss.

Oh, we also like alliteration.

burlykorean said...

This post should be printed in every major magazine and paper. I laughed out loud.

Anonymous said...

well, guys are just fucking assholes, esp college guys. all they do is use girls for their own sexual pleasure and hope that theres no strings attach, but what they fail to know is that girls are emotional creatures, while guys are just emotionaless pigs. so dont put any blame on the girls, guys are assholes and girls are emotional, its a plain fact. guys never commit b/c they are "scared" but what the fuck? why wouldnt you not want to? you are guarantee to have someone to make out and do whatevers with. but then again there are those "open relationship" crap that people have. guys are assholes!